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The Project Gutenberg Etext of The Gambler, by Fyodor Dostoyevsky - səhifə 14

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say to us when we caught her up, and her eyes first lit upon us?

What, too, about Mr. Astley? HE would not leap from the

Shlangenberg for my sake! No! Of that I am very sure!"--and she

laughed. "Do you know where he is going next year? He says he

intends to go to the North Pole for scientific investigations,

and has invited me to go with him! Ha, ha, ha! He also says that

we Russians know nothing, can do nothing, without European help.

But he is a good fellow all the same. For instance, he does not

blame the General in the matter, but declares that Mlle.

Blanche--that love--But no; I do not know, I do not know." She

stopped suddenly, as though she had said her say, and was

feeling bewildered. "What poor creatures these people are. How

sorry I am for them, and for Grandmamma! But when are you going

to kill De Griers? Surely you do not intend actually to murder

him? You fool! Do you suppose that I should ALLOW you to fight

De Griers? Nor shall you kill the Baron." Here she burst out

laughing. "How absurd you looked when you were talking to the

Burmergelms! I was watching you all the time--watching you from

where I was sitting. And how unwilling you were to go when I

sent you! Oh, how I laughed and laughed!"


Then she kissed and embraced me again; again she pressed her

face to mine with tender passion. Yet I neither saw nor heard

her, for my head was in a whirl. . . .
It must have been about seven o'clock in the morning when I

awoke. Daylight had come, and Polina was sitting by my side--a

strange expression on her face, as though she had seen a vision

and was unable to collect her thoughts. She too had just

awoken, and was now staring at the money on the table. My head

ached; it felt heavy. I attempted to take Polina's hand, but she

pushed me from her, and leapt from the sofa. The dawn was full

of mist, for rain had fallen, yet she moved to the window,

opened it, and, leaning her elbows upon the window-sill, thrust

out her head and shoulders to take the air. In this position did

she remain for several minutes, without ever looking round at

me, or listening to what I was saying. Into my head there came

the uneasy thought: What is to happen now? How is it all to end?

Suddenly Polina rose from the window, approached the table, and,

looking at me with an expression of infinite aversion, said with

lips which quivered with anger:


"Well? Are you going to hand me over my fifty thousand francs?"
"Polina, you say that AGAIN, AGAIN?" I exclaimed.
"You have changed your mind, then? Ha, ha, ha! You are sorry

you ever promised them?"


On the table where, the previous night, I had counted the money

there still was lying the packet of twenty five thousand

florins. I handed it to her.
"The francs are mine, then, are they? They are mine?" she

inquired viciously as she balanced the money in her hands.


"Yes; they have ALWAYS been yours," I said.
"Then TAKE your fifty thousand francs!" and she hurled them

full in my face. The packet burst as she did so, and the floor

became strewed with bank-notes. The instant that the deed was

done she rushed from the room.


At that moment she cannot have been in her right mind; yet, what

was the cause of her temporary aberration I cannot say. For a

month past she had been unwell. Yet what had brought about this

PRESENT condition of mind,above all things, this outburst? Had

it come of wounded pride? Had it come of despair over her

decision to come to me? Had it come of the fact that, presuming

too much on my good fortune, I had seemed to be intending to

desert her (even as De Griers had done) when once I had given

her the fifty thousand francs? But, on my honour, I had never

cherished any such intention. What was at fault, I think, was

her own pride, which kept urging her not to trust me, but,

rather, to insult me--even though she had not realised the fact.

In her eyes I corresponded to De Griers, and therefore had been

condemned for a fault not wholly my own. Her mood of late had

been a sort of delirium, a sort of light-headedness--that I knew

full well; yet, never had I sufficiently taken it into consideration.

Perhaps she would not pardon me now? Ah, but this was THE PRESENT.

What about the future? Her delirium and sickness were not likely to

make her forget what she had done in bringing me De Griers'

letter. No, she must have known what she was doing when she

brought it.
Somehow I contrived to stuff the pile of notes and gold under

the bed, to cover them over, and then to leave the room some ten

minutes after Polina. I felt sure that she had returned to her

own room; wherefore, I intended quietly to follow her, and to ask

the nursemaid aid who opened the door how her mistress was.

Judge, therefore, of my surprise when, meeting the domestic on

the stairs, she informed me that Polina had not yet returned,

and that she (the domestic) was at that moment on her way to my

room in quest of her!
"Mlle. left me but ten minutes ago," I said.

"What can have become of her?" The nursemaid looked at me

reproachfully.
Already sundry rumours were flying about the hotel. Both in the

office of the commissionaire and in that of the landlord it was

whispered that, at seven o'clock that morning, the Fraulein had

left the hotel, and set off, despite the rain, in the direction

of the Hotel d'Angleterre. From words and hints let fall I could

see that the fact of Polina having spent the night in my room

was now public property. Also, sundry rumours were circulating

concerning the General's family affairs. It was known that last

night he had gone out of his mind, and paraded the hotel in

tears; also, that the old lady who had arrived was his mother,

and that she had come from Russia on purpose to forbid her son's

marriage with Mlle. de Cominges, as well as to cut him out of

her will if he should disobey her; also that, because he had

disobeyed her, she had squandered all her money at roulette, in

order to have nothing more to leave to him. "Oh, these

Russians!" exclaimed the landlord, with an angry toss of the

head, while the bystanders laughed and the clerk betook himself

to his accounts. Also, every one had learnt about my winnings;

Karl, the corridor lacquey, was the first to congratulate me.

But with these folk I had nothing to do. My business was to set

off at full speed to the Hotel d'Angleterre.
As yet it was early for Mr. Astley to receive visitors; but, as

soon as he learnt that it was I who had arrived, he came out

into the corridor to meet me, and stood looking at me in silence

with his steel-grey eyes as he waited to hear what I had to say.

I inquired after Polina.
"She is ill," he replied, still looking at me with his direct,

unwavering glance.


"And she is in your rooms."
"Yes, she is in my rooms."
"Then you are minded to keep her there?"
"Yes, I am minded to keep her there."
"But, Mr. Astley, that will raise a scandal. It ought not to be

allowed. Besides, she is very ill. Perhaps you had not remarked

that?"
"Yes, I have. It was I who told you about it. Had she not been

ill, she would not have gone and spent the night with you."


"Then you know all about it?"
"Yes; for last night she was to have accompanied me to the

house of a relative of mine. Unfortunately, being ill, she made

a mistake, and went to your rooms instead."
"Indeed? Then I wish you joy, Mr. Astley. Apropos, you have

reminded me of something. Were you beneath my window last night?

Every moment Mlle. Polina kept telling me to open the window and

see if you were there; after which she always smiled."


"Indeed? No, I was not there; but I was waiting in the

corridor, and walking about the hotel."


"She ought to see a doctor, you know, Mr. Astley."
"Yes, she ought. I have sent for one, and, if she dies, I shall

hold you responsible."


This surprised me.
"Pardon me," I replied, "but what do you mean?"
"Never mind. Tell me if it is true that, last night, you won two

hundred thousand thalers?"


"No; I won a hundred thousand florins."
"Good heavens! Then I suppose you will be off to Paris this

morning?
"Why?"


"Because all Russians who have grown rich go to Paris,"

explained Astley, as though he had read the fact in a book.


"But what could I do in Paris in summer time?--I LOVE her, Mr.

Astley! Surely you know that?"


"Indeed? I am sure that you do NOT. Moreover, if you were to

stay here, you would lose everything that you possess, and have

nothing left with which to pay your expenses in Paris. Well,

good-bye now. I feel sure that today will see you gone from

here."
"Good-bye. But I am NOT going to Paris. Likewise--pardon me--what

is to become of this family? I mean that the affair of the

General and Mlle. Polina will soon be all over the town."
"I daresay; yet, I hardly suppose that that will break the

General's heart. Moreover, Mlle. Polina has a perfect right to

live where she chooses. In short, we may say that, as a family,

this family has ceased to exist."


I departed, and found myself smiling at the Englishman's strange

assurance that I should soon be leaving for Paris. "I suppose

he means to shoot me in a duel, should Polina die. Yes, that is

what he intends to do." Now, although I was honestly sorry for

Polina, it is a fact that, from the moment when, the previous

night, I had approached the gaming-table, and begun to rake in

the packets of bank-notes, my love for her had entered upon a

new plane. Yes, I can say that now; although, at the time, I was

barely conscious of it. Was I, then, at heart a gambler? Did I,

after all, love Polina not so very much? No, no! As God is my

witness, I loved her! Even when I was returning home from Mr.

Astley's my suffering was genuine, and my self-reproach sincere.

But presently I was to go through an exceedingly strange and

ugly experience.


I was proceeding to the General's rooms when I heard a door near

me open, and a voice call me by name. It was Mlle.'s mother, the

Widow de Cominges who was inviting me, in her daughter's

name, to enter.


I did so; whereupon, I heard a laugh and a little cry proceed

from the bedroom (the pair occupied a suite of two apartments),

where Mlle. Blanche was just arising.
"Ah, c'est lui! Viens, donc, bete! Is it true that you have won

a mountain of gold and silver? J'aimerais mieux l'or."


"Yes," I replied with a smile.
"How much?"
"A hundred thousand florins."
"Bibi, comme tu es bete! Come in here, for I can't hear you

where you are now. Nous ferons bombance, n'est-ce pas?"


Entering her room, I found her lolling under a pink satin

coverlet, and revealing a pair of swarthy, wonderfully healthy

shoulders--shoulders such as one sees in dreams--shoulders covered

over with a white cambric nightgown which, trimmed with lace,

stood out, in striking relief, against the darkness of her skin.
"Mon fils, as-tu du coeur?" she cried when she saw me, and

then giggled. Her laugh had always been a very cheerful one, and

at times it even sounded sincere.
"Tout autre--" I began, paraphrasing Comeille.
"See here," she prattled on. "Please search for my stockings,

and help me to dress. Aussi, si tu n'es pas trop bete je te

prends a Paris. I am just off, let me tell you."
"This moment?"
"In half an hour."
True enough, everything stood ready-packed--trunks, portmanteaux,

and all. Coffee had long been served.


"Eh bien, tu verras Paris. Dis donc, qu'est-ce que c'est qu'un

'utchitel'? Tu etais bien bete quand tu etais 'utchitel.' Where

are my stockings? Please help me to dress."
And she lifted up a really ravishing foot--small, swarthy, and

not misshapen like the majority of feet which look dainty only

in bottines. I laughed, and started to draw on to the foot a

silk stocking, while Mlle. Blanche sat on the edge of the bed

and chattered.
"Eh bien, que feras-tu si je te prends avec moi? First of all I

must have fifty thousand francs, and you shall give them to me

at Frankfurt. Then we will go on to Paris, where we will live

together, et je te ferai voir des etoiles en plein jour. Yes,

you shall see such women as your eyes have never lit upon."
"Stop a moment. If I were to give you those fifty thousand

francs, what should I have left for myself?"


"Another hundred thousand francs, please to remember. Besides,

I could live with you in your rooms for a month, or even for

two; or even for longer. But it would not take us more than two

months to get through fifty thousand francs; for, look you, je

suis bonne enfante, et tu verras des etoiles, you may be sure."
"What? You mean to say that we should spend the whole in two

months?"
"Certainly. Does that surprise you very much? Ah, vil esclave!

Why, one month of that life would be better than all your

previous existence. One month--et apres, le deluge! Mais tu ne

peux comprendre. Va! Away, away! You are not worth it.--Ah, que

fais-tu?"


For, while drawing on the other stocking, I had felt constrained

to kiss her. Immediately she shrunk back, kicked me in the face

with her toes, and turned me neck and prop out of the room.
"Eh bien, mon 'utchitel'," she called after me, "je t'attends,

si tu veux. I start in a quarter of an hour's time."


I returned to my own room with my head in a whirl. It was not my

fault that Polina had thrown a packet in my face, and preferred

Mr. Astley to myself. A few bank-notes were still fluttering

about the floor, and I picked them up. At that moment the door

opened, and the landlord appeared--a person who, until now, had

never bestowed upon me so much as a glance. He had come to know

if I would prefer to move to a lower floor--to a suite which had

just been tenanted by Count V.


For a moment I reflected.
"No!" I shouted. "My account, please, for in ten minutes I

shall be gone."


"To Paris, to Paris!" I added to myself. "Every man of birth

must make her acquaintance."


Within a quarter of an hour all three of us were seated in a

family compartment--Mlle. Blanche, the Widow de Cominges, and

myself. Mlle. kept laughing hysterically as she looked at me,

and Madame re-echoed her; but I did not feel so cheerful. My

life had broken in two, and yesterday had infected me with a

habit of staking my all upon a card. Although it might be that I

had failed to win my stake, that I had lost my senses, that I

desired nothing better, I felt that the scene was to be changed

only FOR A TIME. "Within a month from now," I kept thinking to

myself, "I shall be back again in Roulettenberg; and THEN I

mean to have it out with you, Mr. Astley!" Yes, as now I look

back at things, I remember that I felt greatly depressed,

despite the absurd gigglings of the egregious Blanche.
"What is the matter with you? How dull you are!" she cried at

length as she interrupted her laughter to take me seriously to

task.
"Come, come! We are going to spend your two hundred thousand

francs for you, et tu seras heureux comme un petit roi. I myself

will tie your tie for you, and introduce you to Hortense. And

when we have spent your money you shall return here, and break

the bank again. What did those two Jews tell you?--that the thing

most needed is daring, and that you possess it? Consequently,

this is not the first time that you will be hurrying to Paris

with money in your pocket. Quant ... moi, je veux cinquante mille

francs de rente, et alors"
"But what about the General?" I interrupted.
"The General? You know well enough that at about this hour every

day he goes to buy me a bouquet. On this occasion, I took care to

tell him that he must hunt for the choicest of flowers; and when

he returns home, the poor fellow will find the bird flown.

Possibly he may take wing in pursuit--ha, ha, ha! And if so, I

shall not be sorry, for he could be useful to me in Paris, and

Mr. Astley will pay his debts here."
In this manner did I depart for the Gay City.
XVI
Of Paris what am I to say? The whole proceeding was a delirium,

a madness. I spent a little over three weeks there, and, during

that time, saw my hundred thousand francs come to an end. I

speak only of the ONE hundred thousand francs, for the other

hundred thousand I gave to Mlle. Blanche in pure cash. That is

to say, I handed her fifty thousand francs at Frankfurt, and,

three days later (in Paris), advanced her another fifty thousand

on note of hand. Nevertheless, a week had not elapsed ere she

came to me for more money. "Et les cent mille francs qui nous

restent," she added, "tu les mangeras avec moi, mon utchitel."

Yes, she always called me her "utchitel." A person more

economical, grasping, and mean than Mlle. Blanche one could not

imagine. But this was only as regards HER OWN money. MY hundred

thousand francs (as she explained to me later) she needed to set

up her establishment in Paris, "so that once and for all I may

be on a decent footing, and proof against any stones which may

be thrown at me--at all events for a long time to come."

Nevertheless, I saw nothing of those hundred thousand francs, for

my own purse (which she inspected daily) never managed to amass

in it more than a hundred francs at a time; and, generally the

sum did not reach even that figure.
"What do you want with money?" she would say to me with air of

absolute simplicity; and I never disputed the point.

Nevertheless, though she fitted out her flat very badly with the

money, the fact did not prevent her from saying when, later, she

was showing me over the rooms of her new abode: "See what

care and taste can do with the most wretched of means!"

However, her "wretchedness " had cost fifty thousand francs,

while with the remaining fifty thousand she purchased a carriage

and horses.
Also, we gave a couple of balls--evening parties

attended by Hortense and Lisette and Cleopatre, who were women

remarkable both for the number of their liaisons and (though

only in some cases) for their good looks. At these reunions

I had to play the part of host--to meet and entertain fat

mercantile parvenus who were impossible by reason of their

rudeness and braggadocio, colonels of various kinds, hungry

authors, and journalistic hacks--all of whom disported

themselves in fashionable tailcoats and pale yellow gloves, and

displayed such an aggregate of conceit and gasconade as would be

unthinkable even in St. Petersburg--which is saying a great deal!

They used to try to make fun of me, but I would console myself

by drinking champagne and then lolling in a retiring-room.

Nevertheless, I found it deadly work. "C'est un utchitel," Blanche would

say of me, "qui a gagne deux cent mille francs,

and but for me, would have had not a notion how to spend them.

Presently he will have to return to his tutoring. Does any one

know of a vacant post? You know, one must do something for him."


I had the more frequent recourse to champagne in that I

constantly felt depressed and bored, owing to the fact that I

was living in the most bourgeois commercial milieu imaginable--a

milieu wherein every sou was counted and grudged. Indeed, two

weeks had not elapsed before I perceived that Blanche had no

real affection for me, even though she dressed me in elegant

clothes, and herself tied my tie each day. In short, she utterly

despised me. But that caused me no concern. Blase and inert, I

spent my evenings generally at the Chateau des Fleurs, where I

would get fuddled and then dance the cancan (which, in that

establishment, was a very indecent performance) with eclat. At

length, the time came when Blanche had drained my purse dry. She

had conceived an idea that, during the term of our residence

together, it would be well if I were always to walk behind her

with a paper and pencil, in order to jot down exactly what she

spent, what she had saved, what she was paying out, and what

she was laying by. Well, of course I could not fail to be aware

that this would entail a battle over every ten francs; so,

although for every possible objection that I might make she had

prepared a suitable answer, she soon saw that I made no

objections, and therefore, had to start disputes herself. That is

to say, she would burst out into tirades which were met only

with silence as I lolled on a sofa and stared fixedly at the

ceiling. This greatly surprised her. At first she imagined that

it was due merely to the fact that I was a fool, "un utchitel";

wherefore she would break off her harangue in the belief

that, being too stupid to understand, I was a hopeless case.

Then she would leave the room, but return ten minutes later to

resume the contest. This continued throughout her squandering of

my money--a squandering altogether out of proportion to our

means. An example is the way in which she changed her first pair

of horses for a pair which cost sixteen thousand francs.


"Bibi," she said on the latter occasion as she approached me,

"surely you are not angry?"


"No-o-o: I am merely tired," was my reply as I pushed her

from me. This seemed to her so curious that straightway she

seated herself by my side.
"You see," she went on, "I decided to spend so much upon these

horses only because I can easily sell them again. They would

go at any time for TWENTY thousand francs."
"Yes, yes. They are splendid horses, and you have got a

splendid turn-out. I am quite content. Let me hear no more of

the matter."
"Then you are not angry?"
"No. Why should I be? You are wise to provide yourself with

what you need, for it will all come in handy in the future.

Yes, I quite see the necessity of your establishing yourself on

a good basis, for without it you will never earn your million.

My hundred thousand francs I look upon merely as a beginning--as

a mere drop in the bucket."


Blanche, who had by no means expected such declarations from me,

but, rather, an uproar and protests, was rather taken aback.


"Well, well, what a man you are! " she exclaimed. " Mais tu as

l'esprit pour comprendre. Sais-tu, mon garcon, although you are



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